Do you ever feel pressured…….
When you see those well-filtered Instagram pictures of Barbie and Ken or when you log unto Facebook and see those picturesque pre-wedding photo shoots with the couple holding hands and looking deep into each other’s eyes with the setting sun as a backdrop…..yeah, those ones.
When your mom starts dropping hints and asking when your turn will be or when your big sister tries to match you with any decent looking chap within a 25 mile radius.
When your classmate/ co-worker innocently asks, I have never heard you talking about any guy/ girl´. Does shame trickle down your spine like a dollop of ice cream and leave you feeling as stiff as a plank of wood?
Fret not my love, you´re in good company.
I sometimes wonder if it is not a case of misery loving company when all these married people ask questions like these. Because I know for sure that not all marriages are happy ones.
There are times when I go on online,see the matching clothes, the sickly sweet smiles and the poses that rival Brad and Jolie and say a heartfelt prayer, ´God, I hope these people are as happy as they seem on Facebook!´
When friends and family ask you ´ so have you met any guy/ girl? ´ or ´Why are you still single? ´ or worse yet when your grand-aunt asks ` When am I coming for your wedding?, and you are tempted to respond with saccharine sweetness, ´ When am I coming for your funeral? ´
When you wonder not for the first time whether you have a sell -by- date stamped on your forehead which everyone else can see apart from you.
When you have only been dating the guy for four months but all your friends suddenly become counsellors asking you to sit him down and ask him where this relationship is going. Ahba!
And of course my favourite one, when you hit 30 and hear snide comments like ´when will you settle down, you are not getting any younger oo´
Then you begin to wonder…… shall I go on Tinder and have the unfortunate pleasure of my friend to be told ´Ich habe noch nie einen nigger gedickt´ (To wit: I have not yet fucked a nigger)
Or do you take the advice of your well meaning friends and go for a party in a dimly lit room, with music so loud you can feel the protestations from your chest cavity and eardrums, while watching people gyrate to bad music all the while making inane conversation, because this is how it is done!
Do you start to wonder if your standards are not a wee too high and make the necessary adjustments so you can also finally update your status on Facebook to ´ in a relationship´ and post all those cute pictures of you and le boo to amass a gazillion likes.
Fret not my love, you are in good company!
There is apparently more single people in the world than ever before!But if there are so many of us, why is it so hard to find that perfect one we have been subliminally programmed to wait for from all those Disney cartoons and fairy tales? Maybe the perfect person does not exist. Maybe they are human like you and are just as shy and awkward as you sometimes are.
So before you start comparing yourself to that person who had the ´ i-do Ghana´ worthy wedding, let’s have a sit down and realize that we are all in a different race.
Some start with full energy and run out of steam in the middle. Others start slow, gain spread gradually and overtake the whole pack.
Some say that life is more like a long distance race than a sprint. The endurance needed for a long distance is race is far more than that needed for a sprint. Let´s have some fun shall we?
What if you were not meant to marry? Let´s just imagine that for a second. What are some of the things you would do with your life if you knew that marriage was not in God´s plan for you?
Exactly, do them! Travel, take that course, start that business, develop yourself, meet new people and take the pressure of yourself.
The funny thing is that life happens when you least expect it
Cheers to you!
PS: That is not to encourage anyone to dress like nun/ priest and hide in their room under whatever guise. Be the fun, full – of life kind of person you would like to be with!